2. What Is A Gentleman?
And thus he bore without abuse
The grand old name of gentleman,
Defamed by every charlatan
And soiled with all ignoble use.
- Tennyson.
Never imagine that the swaggering braggart can move the world - he is as feeble as he is loud. Jesus Christ was the strongest man who ever lived - and the gentlest. He would not have hurt the feelings of a child, and yet He could conquer hell. "He opened His mouth and taught them, saying, Blessed . . ." That was the keynote of His life. He was always blessing somebody - healing the sick, comforting the sad, cheering the weary, raising the dead; His life was one long series of kindly, brotherly actions. And yet, how He could burn with moral indignationl The same Christ who was tender and gentle and forgiving to the sinners who were tired of the dreary heartache of their useless lives, and longed to be better and do better, could denounce the hypocrites of His day as " a generation of vipers." We must -rid ourselves of the popular delusion that tenderness denotes weakness. It doesn't. Bullies are weak - gentlemen are strong. The braggart is impotent; the empty noise of his braying is quickly exhausted, and then he is used up and has nothing to go on with. The man who endures and overcomes is the man who follows Christ in His sweet reasonableness of temper and thought and action.
What is a gentleman? First of all, let me tell you what he is not. He is not that well-known youth, with vacant, lamblike expression, gorgeous necktie of many colors, immense cuffs, large trousers, tiny shoes, and a buttonhole of huge dimensions. He is not the kind of young man whom Charlotte Bronte once described as "pretty-looking and pretty-behaved, apparently constructed without a backbone, by which I don't allude to his corporal spine, which is all right enough, but to his character." We all know this nerveless automaton. He is destitute of one throbbing impulse or lofty ideal. Kingdoms might crash, empires might totter and fall - he soars above such trifles, and views them with stately unconcern. The only matters which trouble him are the straightness of his necktie, the smoothness of his hair, and the whiteness of his cuffs. One day somebody suggests that lawn tennis is a nice, gentle game, and this amiable youth becomes quite interested. Of course he "hasn't an idea how to play," but he knocks the balls about for a quarter of an hour, and is ill with exhaustion for a week afterwards. In company he is silent, hoping, perhaps, that his ravishing beauty may make up for his helpless taciturnity. He is too modest to sing a song, too lazy to learn an instrument, too dignified to ride a bicycle, too stiff to run a race, too noble to stoop to the clamor of debate or the jealousies of journalism, and much too prudent to venture on any more dogmatic assertion than "Nith day after the wain." The inconvenient question was asked one day concerning a man of this caliber, "What can he do?" Well, truth to tell, he can look ladylike, behave beautifully, curl his hair to perfection, and pose for a photograph - rare accomplishments, which, in a more advanced age, might perhaps win for him respect and admiration. Let us do him justice, however; he is vain but not vicious, puny but not prodigal, languid but never licentious, though certain cynics have suggested that he is mildly respectable only because he lacks the pluck to be madly riotous. It is an old saying and a true one that " Fine feathers do not make fine birds." A decorated donkey is a donkey still. The slaves of nineteenth century masherdom may be exquisitely beautiful, but they are not gentlemen in the noblest sense of the word.
No ; ladylikeness of exterior and a sort of " got-up-regardless-of-expense " appearance are not the outward and visible signs of gentlemanliness. Some of the roughest and most erratic men possess the truest hearts and the tenderest spirits. I shall always feel intensely grateful that the blind and blundering Peter was one of the disciples, for it shows that Jesus Christ can sympathize with men who are recklessly enthusiastic. Some of the most useful, genial, and delightful men I have ever met have been impetuous Peters - true and honest disciples, but afflicted with the unhappy knack of occasionally doing the right thing in the wrong way. They seem to possess every other virtue except caution and prudence. And yet what a gentleman this erratic kind of fellow sometimes is I How sunny his smile, how loving his heart, how honest his voice, how firm the grip of his hand, and, alas ! how unreliable his promises I Write him a long and important letter, and insist in several postscripts on an immediate reply. You may, by means of unusually favorable circumstances or a wet day, receive an answer within a week ; but it is more likely that after many days he will be surprised by finding your letter in an odd corner, and write off an apologetic but almost illegible postcard. We all know the man, nimble-minded, keen-witted, and apparently reckless, always eager to listen to a new story, always ready with a good yarn in return. He has boundless energy, never-failing vivacity, and a heart that overflows with love. There is no game or recreation that he does not dabble in. He can ride any kind of cycle, he revels in cricket, and he can swim like a duck. But he flies from one to the other with the most delightful inconsistency, one day perspiring at lawn tennis, a week later rowing as if for dear life, and anon ready to enter into an ardent dispute with any man who dares to assert that gymnastics do not form the best exercise in the world. In one word, he is a rocket - he may go up, he may splutter and fall. If he does go up there is sure to be a brilliant display, for his ability is undeniable, and his career is only hindered from being a conspicuous success by his erratic and disorderly methods. But look at him and tell me if he is not a gentleman. See how he dries the falling tear ; observe how readily he bears the bitterest inconvenience in order to do a service for a man who is *'down" ; notice how he stints himselt that he may help any prodigal who happens to be "hard up" ; see how the tiny children love this great-hearted, merry, boyish fellow, climbing all over him, caressing his rough face, and pulling his grizzly beard. Yes, this man knows something of the gentlemanly Carpenter of Nazareth, or he could not be so refreshingly frank, so transparently sincere, so sublimely unselfish. After all, I would rather have the rugged warmth of a firework than the prim and pompous frigidity of an iceberg.
But let us come to close quarters, and inquire into some of the indispensable characteristics of a gentleman. In the first place, he is brimming over with brotherliness. Not only is this the first indication of gentlemanliness - it is the very essence and heart of true Christianity. The Apostle John evidently thought so, for he said, in his frank, straightforward way, that "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar "; and again, " Let us love one another, for love is of God ; and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God "; and then, in a burst of indignation, he declares that the man who hates his brother is a murderer. I firmly believe that the crowning necessity of the Church to-day is not an austere and unbending Puritanism, but a large-hearted, cheerful spirit of Christian brotherliness. While we have been wasting our strength in drawing up resolutions, arranging our formulas, and throttling enthusiasm with red tape, the devil has been winning hosts of adherents by means of cheerful resorts, bright music, and good fellowship. The shallow critic cannot save the world - even the skillful theologian cannot do it. What we want is sympathy. There are men who have fallen in the tragedy of life, and, bleeding and forlorn, they need the hearty handgiasp, the friendly help ot brotherly men. We must cast away our supercilious selfconceit and our chilling cynicism. We must get hold of those who have been overcome of evil, and cheer them with words of hope, and encourage them to begin a better life. We must treat with infinite tenderness bewildered, misguided, unhappy souls who have blundered and fallen, and are gradually sinking into despair. Such men will be repulsed by a tract, they will resent an arrogant inquisition into their intellectual eccentricities. But we may love them to Christ. We may gently succor them from their evil selves and show them the noble character, the mysterious self-sacrifice, and the resistless power of Him who was the Friend and Savior of thieves and harlots. All brotherhness must begin at the Cross. Inspired by the supreme revelation of the Father's love, we shall lose our unworthy pride, our reckless ambition, and our false notions of respectability, and learn the first lesson of gentlemanliness, which is to love our brother even as Christ has loved us. Then you will always notice that a gentleman possesses a dexterous and most delightful tact. I think it was Dr. Culross who, at a gathering of young men, gave an admirable example of this quality. He said that at a certain breakfast a guest upset a cup, and its contents soiled the cloth. A neighbor quietly placed a vase of flowers over the stain, and thus hid the blot with beauty. Another story occurs to me about General Grant, who avoided taking Lee's presentation sword at the capitulation without either " clumsy bluntness or caddish showiness," simply by adding this to the terms, " All officers to retain their side-arms." A third example is given by Mr. R. L. Stevenson, who reminds us of how Wellington, meeting Marmont years after Salamanca, was asked by the agreeable marshal his opinion of the battle. "I early perceived," was his gentle reply, " that your excellency had been wounded." I mention these incidents to, explain what I mean by a " dexterous tact" - a consideration for the feelings of others, a desire to put people at their ease, and to make the best of a trying situation. After all, this is summed up in the Christian law of bearing one another's burdens, and of doing to others as we would others should do to us.
But if we imitate the gentlemanliness of Jesus we shall go further, we shall look for the good in men, we shall try to ignore their weaknesses, and our judgments will be very kind. We must remember that no man is utterly and irretrievably bad. We all have a good side to our character - a Dr. Jekyll, who is generous and charitable and upright. And alas! what life is not embittered and hampered by a ghostly Mr. Hyde, black with iniquity, terrible with hatred, scorched with hell I Hercules, the strong man, had a robe sent to him poisoned with blood. He put it on, and as soon as it became warm the poison entered his flesh ; he could not tear it from him, and he died, strong man as he was. The evil spirit is part of us, it destroys our rest, it assails us at oui weakest points, and when we would do good there is the desperate and deadly temptation to be reckoned with, and sometimes we are swept along before the withering blast of our unrestrained passions. Life is a mixed quantity. We are bad for a time, then we rise up and declare that we will be Christ's men. We pray with eager desire and intense earnestness, and immediately afterwards give both hands to the devil. One day we are cursed with hideous and soulhaunting thoughts, and the very next day blessed with all the calm of heaven's peace. Our life is a maze, a tangled mystery, a grim tragedy. The great lesson to be learnt from this duality of purpose is that no character is altogether bad. The worst part of a man's nature may have caught our attention, and we instantly condemn him as a most hopeless and degraded sinner. What blind injustice I He may all the time be fighting a winning battle with a thousand temptations of which we know nothing. So we must cultivate a gentlemanly kindness in our criticisms, knowing that we shall often experience the pain of defeat ere we know the glory of ultimate victory.
Among other unmistakable indications of true gentlemanliness are chivalry and unselfishness. He is no gentleman, but the meanest and most contemptible of creatures, who is unclean in thought and unchaste in life. One of the most remarkable characteristics of gentlemanliness lies in the fact that it is not so very far removed from womanliness. It has a sacred modesty, a tender regard and respect for weakness and loneliness and inferiority, a deep and genuine reverence for the innocence and purity of womanhood. But, you say, how about manliness ? I reply by asking another question. Do you know what manliness means ? It signifies virtue. When Garfield said, " I shall try and become a man ; if I do not succeed in that I shall be good for nothing," he did not mean that his ambition was to be merely big and boisterous and robust, he desired to become gentle and strong and good. Vice is no mark of cleverness or manliness. It is a shameful, devilish thing that scars the soul, wounds the heart, rends the whole life asunder, and turns the future into darkness.
There is one other mark of the highest Christian gentlemanhness - it absolutely prohibits sickening personalities in conversation. *'There are times," says Dr. John Hall, "when we are compelled to say, * I do not think Bouncer is a true and honest man.' But where there is no need to express an opinion, let poor Bouncer swagger away. Others will take his measure no doubt, and save you the trouble of analyzing him and instructing them." The gentlemanly thing to do is to dwell as much as possible on the best side of human nature. Healthy men will not wish to dine at a dissecting table. Instead of retailing petty gossip about people, and criticising small mistakes, and exaggerating trifling defects, rise higher, speak of nobler things, manlier thoughts, loftier objects, and try and keep the atmosphere pure and fragrant with charity and brotherly love. Perhaps it has not occurred to you that to ridicule or slander an absent man is the most vulgar and cowardly thing you can do. The Apostle has told us that " the tongue is a fire," and we know it is so. Nothing stabs so deep as slanderous and bitter words. Avoid suspicion, resentment, subtle and base insinuations, and scorn to indulge in unwholesome gossip ; for, as Cardinal Newman wisely said, the true gentleman " has no ears for slander, never takes an unfair advantage, and interprets everything for the best."