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10. Suffer From Headache



[The Wigs all imagine they suffer from headache: The Rats come to the Healer to be cured of the ravages of hot Soy: The Chief Contractor has to make himself ill eating the musical instruments.]

Directly he heard the word "problem" the Chief Contractor put on the mask of the "Mathematician."

"It is indeed atrocious, this problem that confronts us," continued the Healer, "and who can there be amongst us who is not full of distress when he considers that in the whole of our country there is no one who can tell us whether we should begin by making the plans or the buildings. I trust for the sake of your honour that you all have a headache," and so saying the Healer walked towards the pair of donkeys.

"I, too, hope so," said the Chief Contractor, hastily slipping on the mask called "Migraine."

MATHEMATICIAN

"I, too, hope so," said his wife, who had just come in.

You, gentle reader, will find on another page a portrait of this lady, who was extremely vain and dressed very extravagantly.

MIGRAINE

She bore a great resemblance to a butterfly.

"We all hope so," said every one in the kitchen, and the crowd in the square took up the remark, so that all over the town the Wigs were sighing and placing their right hands upon their foreheads.

Soon they felt so bad that they all wetted their handkerchiefs in the fountain of rose-water and wrapped them round their heads.

There was a great silence....

"I hope so, too," piped the Crow, a little late because he had only just succeeded in putting on his spectacles.




The Stork re-entered, pushing the Mother of the Crow in her oyster-shell, and followed by the Healer. At once the Stork began to pull out all the fish-bones which during his absence ill-natured persons had stuck in the back of the Despoiler.

WRAPPED THEIR HANDKERCHIEFS ROUND THEIR HEADS

"I, TOO, HOPE SO," SAID HIS WIFE, WHO HAD JUST COME IN

But all thought of the grave problem to be discussed was forgotten, for at this moment there entered many more victims of the travelling prison. (Smaly, who up to now had not been so very, very astonished at anything he had seen or heard since he had passed through the chocolate door, really was a little surprised when he saw these victims.)

The chief sufferers seemed to have been the Rats, whose business it was to keep the sugar-cane forest well watered. Nearly all had one leg which was much longer than the other, or a very long arm, or an elongated nose, or a tail that went on for ever.

"They must have been walking upon hot Soy," whispered a Wig to Smaly.

This Wig was a Dwarf with a very large head, and he carried a watering-can, out of which he perpetually drank a few drops.

Smaly and Redy, their eyes round with curiosity, questioned him eagerly.

"The Prisoner wanted to cripple us all for the rest of our days," said the Dwarf, drinking a little more water, for he suffered from a continual thirst.

"If you know what a match is," observed the Crow, settling his spectacles, "you will very soon understand what has happened."

"Yes," continued the Dwarf, looking anxiously into the bottom of his watering-can. "When the prison had crossed the square the Architect made an attempt to save the plans."

"By the Architect he means the Confectioner," whispered Redy to Smaly.

NEARLY ALL HAD ONE LEG WHICH WAS MUCH LONGER THAN THE OTHER, OR A VERY LONG ARM

"He rushed after the Prisoner, crying out to him to stop; but the Prisoner only looked at him with his big eyes and, ceasing for a second to break the sugar-canes, seized hold of a little wax vesta. He stared at the Architect with eyes full of hate, and cried, 'I think no more of you than I do of this match.'"

HIS ELONGATED TAIL WAS TIED TO THE QUEUE OF HIS WIG

"No, no," interrupted one of the Rats, "that's not how it happened at all." He carried one long leg on a crutch, and his elongated tail was tied to the queue of his wig. "That's not how it happened at all," he repeated.

"Do you mean to tell me he did not show the match?" asked the Dwarf.

"Certainly not," replied the Rat.

Smaly asked the Rat what the Prisoner had really done.

The Rat, with fear in his eyes at the mere memory, made answer:

"He struck his match on a little box so that it sprang into flame, and offered it to the Architect through the sugar-canes. The Architect, of course, ran away, and in running he broke his leg."

"BUT ONLY LOOK AT OUR ARMS AND LEGS"

"Ah! I'd forgotten that detail," said the Dwarf.

"A detail!" cried several of the Rats. "A detail! But only look at our arms and legs."

"The Architect knew quite well," explained the first Rat, "that if the match fell on the liquid Soy it would become hot immediately and everything would start to grow--and only look at our legs and arms!"

Smaly began to understand why it was that the Confectioner walked about on high pattens, and why the Rats wore boots. He saw that though all these people owed their pleasant life to Soy because it made everything grow without any trouble, yet they feared it, feared it even more than they feared the flies which used to come when they were asleep and eat the sugar of which their faces and hands were composed.

EVEN MORE THAN THEY FEARED THE FLIES




The Dwarf had pulled on a pair of boots without any soles, and placed a large pot of flowers on his head, and he now began to imitate the Rats watering the ground, affecting an extreme fear of wetting his feet, for it was because their boots had melted in the hot Soy that the Rats' paws had grown so long.

This imitation on the part of the Dwarf was interrupted by the sound of trumpets, for the Rats and the Wigs had already begun to recover from their emotion under the care of the Healer, and seizing hold of little trumpets of chocolate and sugar they had begun to blow upon them.

REWARDS

Some seized drums and violins and even bag-pipes, and it was impossible to say whether any one was speaking or not, the noise was so loud.

"Take away the mouthpieces and the violin strings," commanded the Chief Contractor.

"There aren't any," cried the Rats and the Wigs, hastily eating them all.

Then they continued to play their instruments; but these no longer made any noise.




The Healer was by now attending to the last of the victims. He had poured cordial into their mouths from the page's funnel, and they had all become absolutely drunk. Then he peeled off from their legs the strips of leather which had remained stuck to them, and cooled their little paws with pistachio-nut ice. When he had finished he took out from the sack labelled "Rewards" a little trumpet, a punchinello, a drum, and a paper windmill, and handed them round.

THE DWARF HAD PULLED ON A PAIR OF BOOTS

The Chief Contractor, however, refused to allow the noise to begin again, and placing over his face a mask called "Calming Influences," he followed the Healer, and every time when the latter gave as a reward an instrument of music, the Chief Contractor ate it himself.

That night the Chief Contractor had a bad attack of indigestion, and it was the poor Confectioner, with his mended leg, who had to make the distribution of provisions.