13. Act II Scene 2
THE BLACKBIRD, THE PHEASANT-HEN,
later CHANTECLER
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
Panting, tragically earnest.] I ran all the way.--You were there.--Oh, I am half dead with terror!--Well you must have overheard their dreadful secret! You, his friend!
THE BLACKBIRD [
Cheerfully rummaging among the moss.] Or the thigh of a katydid will do.
THE PHEASANT-HEN I was watching from a distance. I crouched in a ditch--[
In an anguished voice.] Well?
THE BLACKBIRD [
In genuine surprise.] Well, what?
THE PHEASANT-HEN Their conspiracy--
THE BLACKBIRD [
Calmly.] It all went off very nicely.
THE PHEASANT-HEN What do you mean?
THE BLACKBIRD The shadow was a correct and appropriate blue, and the Owls said perfectly characteristic things.
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
In wild alarm.] Heavens, they plotted his death?
THE BLACKBIRD His decease, which is not nearly so bad.
THE PHEASANT-HEN But--
THE BLACKBIRD Don't smite your brow! In spite of the Screech-Owl's grave and self-important tone, I shouldn't wonder if it all amounted to very little.
THE PHEASANT-HEN Those Owls--
THE BLACKBIRD Are good enough in their various parts, but it's the old excessive style of acting.
THE PHEASANT-HEN I beg your pardon?
THE BLACKBIRD Back numbers!
THE PHEASANT-HEN Oh?
THE BLACKBIRD They have eyelashes, fancy, all the way round their eyes! It's too much of a good thing, really.--And that black plot, those desperately dark designs, all that belongs to the year one; you can see moss growing on its back!
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
Fluttering hither and thither feverishly.] I am never quite sure of understanding when a person is talking in fun.
THE BLACKBIRD [
Winking at her.] No flies on your acting!
THE PHEASANT-HEN Surely you wouldn't be laughing if he were in danger? Those ruffians--?
THE BLACKBIRD Prattlers! Wooden Swords! Knights of Hot Air!
THE PHEASANT-HEN But Scops--?
THE BLACKBIRD A stuffed Owl!
THE PHEASANT-HEN And the Great Bubo--?
THE BLACKBIRD Just two ten-candle-power lamps, to be turned on and off with a switch,--crick-crack! And Flammeolus, two lamps likewise--but acetylene!
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
Bewildered by his imagery.] And so--?
THE BLACKBIRD No, trembling Gypsy, there's not enough in this great plot to choke a flea withal!
THE PHEASANT-HEN Truly? I have been so horribly afraid--
THE BLACKBIRD Fear, I warn you, lovely Zingara, leads to dyspepsia! It's because he keeps his eye closed and buried in the sand that the ostrich has preserved his famous digestion!
THE PHEASANT-HEN So it might seem.
THE BLACKBIRD We have in these latter days bowed Tragedy respectfully out of the house!
THE PHEASANT-HEN But had we not best warn Chantecler, so that--
THE BLACKBIRD He would go instantly and challenge them. And then such a whetting of steel!
THE PHEASANT-HEN You are right. So he would.
THE BLACKBIRD On your principle, mad Gitana, an oak-gall could be made into a world.
THE PHEASANT-HEN You have much good sense.
THE BLACKBIRD Daughter of the forest, I have.
CHANTECLER'S VOICE [
Outside.] Coa--
THE PHEASANT-HEN Chantecler!
CHANTECLER [
Approaching on the left, between the hollies, calls from afar.] Who is there?
THE PHEASANT-HEN It is I!
CHANTECLER [
Still from a distance.] Alone?
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
With a significant look at the BLACKBIRD.] Yes, alone.
THE BLACKBIRD [
Understanding.] I vanish--I am off to supper.
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
Low to the BLACKBIRD.] And so--?
THE BLACKBIRD [
Motioning her to be silent.] Keep it dark! [
As he is leaving, by the right, in the manner of one giving an order to a waiter.] Earwigs for one!
THE PHEASANT-HEN [
Low.] It is wiser, you think, not to tell him?
THE BLACKBIRD [
Before disappearing among the flower-pots.] Well, rather!